There are just some things guys either leave to chance/life or they just love avoiding. Honestly, some things just aren’t that important to us. We live simply. We live in the moment. We don’t plan out our lives emotionally. For instance, we are so sure of what car we’ll be driving 5 years from now, but we are clueless as to what woman will be riding shotgun.

Here are a few questions that guys have a hard time answering:

1. Where do you see this [relationship] going?

Most guys think it’s just enough to like a girl and see where it goes. When this question comes up it’s usually followed by an awkward silence or hesitation because it sounds like an ultimatum. Men don’t like ultimatums. If we answer this question honestly it’ll usually lead to hurt feelings or her feeling led on. Rarely does this question come up at the right time in a relationship…when both people are on the same page.

2. What do you think about me?

what does that even mean???? There’s no good way of answering this. We’re going to leave something out that she thinks is extremely important…or we’re just completely lost as to why she’s even asking us this vague ass question.

I was watching Current TV the other night and they were discussing sex & relationships. One of the segments touched on how women should “be single” despite actually being single. Yes, that sounds repetitive…but it’s true. According to Current TV, 62% of women in Manhattan NY are single. I’m sure this doesn’t count women with boyfriends, but nonetheless…there are still a lot of single women.

Why so many? Because they dont “act single” or “appear  to be single” Here are some tips that can help you if you fit this category of ladies:

1) Smile.

Don’t need to cheeeeeese, dont need to laugh (awkward), don’t need to drool…but if you catch the eye of someone you think is attractive, smile. Guys don’t need much bait to bite. Try smiling at random people (even same sex) and see how much more interactions you have each day. You never know who could use that blessing…no matter how small it seems.

2) Conservatively sexy clothing.

Not too much cleavage. Try to keep tattoos hidden (they area chemoattractant for pervs). Check out the picture above. Whatever you do, don’t dress like a slut and don’t dress like a granny.

There are some things that automatically disqualify you from being dated. I honestly think these points are universal and therefore should apply to both men and women.

1) You wear shades in the club

This says more about you than you think. Honestly there can only be a few reason why you walked out of the house with shades on at 12 midnight:

you are high as a kite

you like to stare at people without them knowing

you are the unknown member of Three Six Mafia

or you have a medical condition known as photophobia

The only one I may be able to let you slide with is the photophobia…and you probably shouldn’t be shaking your ass under a strobe light if that’s the case.

2) You have no car

If you are over the age of 21 without a car, I just can’t rock with you (R.I.P MJ). I can understand being in college and not having a car…and really you should have some means of getting around independently by your senior year. I really can’t get down with driving to go pick you up, take you out, then driving to go drop you off EVERYTIME. Yea once in a while is not that big of a deal, but that kind of driving can get costly…and i’m just a student. Give me a break. Step your game up. This is not Bedrock (and even they had a car)

the rest of the disqualifications

1) “No.”

This could come in many different shapes and forms, but it’s always something you think twice about saying. Depending on your role in the relationship it could be easier or harder for you to say “no” to going out to the movies this Friday…or “no” to picking him/her up from Aunty J’s house, who happens to live 40min away.

2) “I’m not in the mood for ______” <— sex/cuddling/you

It’s hard to let your significant other know that you’ve just had enough of them for the time being. You’ve been in eachothers’ faces for the past 5 days and you just want some time to yourself. Some things need to be done alone. You need to clip your toe nails, take a 40min shower, pick the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms box, or pass gas without desperately trying to conceal the sound/smell.

3) “I love you”

Enough said.

4) Any response to “i love you” besides “i love you too”

This is a tough one because we’ve all been in that situation where we have been presented with these crucial words before we were ready to cross that bridge. What do you say? Nothing good will come out besides “i love you too” but you can’t bring yourself to say it. So you fumble and try different come backs. “Aww..you’re so sweet” or “Wow, you took the words right out of my mouth” or “Me too” or my favorite “______” followed by a blank stare.

5) “I just _____” <— took a dump, belched, etc

You can substitute anything that comes out of your body that isn’t speech. It’s tough to be yourself. We all know everyone has to go #2, but it’s hard for you to be THAT open with your partner. Some thing are better just left unsaid or left to the imagination. For instance, I’ve never ever known when any of my girlfriends has gone #2…or any girl for that matter. We men have been bamboozled into thinking that it’s ok for women to regularly take 25min in the bathroom because they have to fix their hair, makeup, bra/pads, tampons, etc etc etc. But what I think is that 60% of the time, women are actually going #2. It has to be..otherwise they’re just aliens.

– Dapo

People use the word “chick” loosely (I am one of them). However, i’m going to break it down how I feel it should be used. Please direct hate mail to getalife@fmlmail.com

Call her a chick if she is:

1. single

2. random

3. under 40

4. not your girlfriend

5. not related

I won’t say anything. Just watch the clip.

This was actually a comment/reply to my post “Top 10 Double Standards Men Face”. The user, stiletto, shed some light on what common double standards women face. Some of these I was very aware of, and others not so much. Good Read. Enjoy.

#7 – On a less serious side, double standards exist even in daily things such a communication. The reverse of number 5 would be when a man asks a question, he is concerned about his woman. If a woman does, she’s considering to be nagging. Women are often come at by men to ask too many questions, to want too many details. However, I don’t know too many men who want half assed stories either. Similarly if a woman is upset, she’s considered to be overly emotional and too sensitive. When a man feels down one day, his woman is expected to be understanding and attentive. If she’s not, he can just turn to the next woman… readily available.

#6 — In today’s career world it is very easy to enter your late 20s or early 30s and not be married. The outcome of this for men is that they are viewed as focused, driven individuals. On the flip side, a woman in the same age group, also unmarried and without children, is looked upon by society as crazy. Someone must not want her, something has to be wrong with her, etc. etc. Sorry guys, she’s probably single by choice.

Top 5 Double Standards