Now Accepting Applications!

Before joining this illustrious organization, chaired by yours truly, you must currently express the following symptoms:

• extended periods of drowsiness, lasting an indefinite period of time
• it feels like every time you look at the clock it’s past midnight
• you’re awake for emails from Groupon
• you’re awake to see day –> night –> day
• diphenhydramine and melatonin are within arms reach
• naps are taken anywhere, including and especially bathroom stalls
• when you wake up it feels like you never slept
• holidays consist of waking up at 3pm and sleeping at 5am
• dinner happens twice a night
• you have witnessed #twitterafterdark
• battery life is #1 on your priority list for a phone/computer
• you calculate how many hrs of sleep you can get way too often
• the alarm clock is your arch enemy
• caffeine is your guardian angel
• you are the friend they call/text at 4am expecting an answer
• you “never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death” – Nas

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